Monday, November 12, 2007

Funerals: Expressing Condolences

The loss of a family member or friend due to illness or accident can be a very difficult experience, and each culture, area, or family hold funerals or other activities differently based on a number of factors including cultural traditions and religion. Thus, it can be important to know the local customs expectations when attending a funeral so everything goes smoothly. In my area, funeral proceedings are based on a lot of things including religion. I believe there is life after death, so a funeral is a time to remember the life of the person, but it is also filled with hope because I believe we will see the person again. A funeral is filled with music, short talks about the life of the person, and perhaps a lunch after the person is buried. Visitors often wear formal clothing, but not black suits and ties. In my religion, we focus on hope of seeing the person again, so it isn't just a sad occasion. So, what about in your family or culture? What are the traditions surrounding funerals? This should be helpful for all international visitors to your country.

Randall

15 comments:

Bruno said...

Brazil is a multicultural country; thus, people from different cultural and religious backgrounds have their own peculiar ways of holding funerals. My family and I don't wear black suits either - it is believed that this color has a negative connotation on such a day. We wear either casual or formal clothing, but attending funerals wearing shorts/bermudas is not allowed.
Our funerals are not filled with music; instead, people usually talk about the deceased one and other family issues. Although some of us believe in life after death, the loss of a family member usually brings a lot of sadness and pain.

Anonymous said...

Here in the north of Spain, altough there's a christia tradition and we hop to see people in heaven when we die as they did before, there are a lot of believes from celtic cultures s is a litte bit different.

Of course, it's a very sad momment and people use to show their feelings in a way I haven't seen in cities (I forgot to say a live in a very little village). The shout, throw theirsel in the floor or over the coffin when the burial comes to show their sadness.

Another thing they do, if the vigil is at home is staying awake all night in rder to accompany the dead person and his or her family.

Even the person when he or she is alive, prepares his or her own funeral by buying a black suit if it is a man or a black dress if it's a woman so the people assiting to the funeral can see them well dressed.

These customs are sared bay all the north villages here in Spain. In the cities we don't see the same behaviour as this world is becoming more and more globalized.

hong said...

In China people hold funerals very seriously. Immediate family and relatives attend funerals wearing special costumes, tipically white.
Most people believe that life in hell after dead.

Anonymous said...

Hello my name is Joel and I am from Ecuador, I have one brother that die, but when he had three months, my parent cried a lot and my too because he was my second brother, after three years God gave me a new brother and was very similar of my second brother and I thanks God to gave me another brother.

Anonymous said...

In Ecuador exist many types pf ceremonies one of them is the person that dead is put in acoffin and then start the religious ceremony and then the the coffin is bury in the land
SEBASTIAN GARZON

Anonymous said...

hi my name is meloni.....I think that dependending of our country the funerals are differents but resiving funeral´s condolenses in whatever country is good for the family of the dead person!! but it depent of the person because each person asume the dead in different way!! for example in my case I don´t like the people near to me when i am sad!! when my granfather dead i just went to the terrace of my house and i stay there all night!!! i relly dislike the people give me condolences!!!

Robert said...

In my country the tradition for do a funeral is that The family and friends of the dead. So they can keep watch over the dead, dresses obviously with black, and say to him or pray whatever the person wants. So it dures the time that the families want until the day of deep down the dead becomes. AN they say goodbye to them.

OMAR mOSqUeRa said...

Hi I will said the customs of Mexico because I born there but now I live in Ecuador so the principal customs are:
They do the meetings in the funeral for said good bye tho the dead man and they put Mexican music(Mariachi) but the song are sad also in the burial.
The song is always GOLONDRINA.
Omar MOsquera

Anonymous said...

Hi
I'm from Colombia and let me tell you my last experience in a funeral. It was because of my aunt's death and I admit that I felt dreadful because most of the people that gave us the condolonces didn't mean it. Here in Colombia it is costumary for everybody to give condolonces to the relatives of the dead person, even if they didn't ever know the one who passed away. It is very commun to make a "vigil" in memoriam of the deceased. During the vigil, we usually talk about the time we shared with the deceased and we spend all the night recalling past experiences as we drink lots of coffe. The day of the funeral we carry out a beautiful ceremony in our favorite church and we sing some sad song. Later, a really close relative tells a speach. Last, we go to the graveyard where we see our relative by the last time. Personnaly, the hardest part of all this calamity is the burial.

Nathália said...

Funerals are the occasion that everyone dislikes, but will have to go one day in life. In my oppinion expresses codolences could be the best thing to do in these moments.

Firstly, what happen in a funeral depends to the custom of the family or religion. Because of this, some people get together in these moments, others sing a music that the deceased liked or even tell a speech.

In addition, this is a moment that we should be patient with the family members that lost e loved person and we might be respectful with the desires that they would have.

To illustrate, I am a kind of person who do not like to go on funerals; however I try to talk with the members of the family and expresses my condolences.

Overall, we must be prepared to funerals because someday we will have to attend one. So, because of the sensibility of the people there condolences are always wellcome.

Anonymous said...

It is always a sad thing when someone meet his marker.So expressing condolescences is a way to show that we care and our hearts goes for others . I believe everyone should share the time of sadness as well as the time of happinness .In Morocco people tends to express their condolescences as well as to bring food along with them for the grieved family and that goes for two days .On the third day there is always a big reunion of relatives and neighbours where they all have coucous with sweet chicken along onions and raisins sauce without forgetting to send prayers and blessing to the deceased person and hoping he will be in paradise .

Anonymous said...

I don't know much about funerals, which is good news in a way because not so many people have died in my family so far. I have never attended a funeral and I hope I will never attend one. In Europe, funerals are a very sad moment during which everyone is worn in black because this is the colour people associate with mourning. There is no lunch after the the person is buried. I don't know why exactly but I think that it's because it would be bold to have lunch after the burial of a relative or family member. People cry are lot, and there are even people who, though they have no connection at all with the deceased, come just to cry while taking part in the funeral. I don't know how those people are called, but I assume there is a technical term for that.

dubstep said...

Of course, it's a very sad momment and people use to show their feelings in a way I haven't seen in cities (I forgot to say a live in a very little village). The shout, throw theirsel in the floor or over the coffin when the burial comes to show their sadness.

Another thing they do, if the vigil is at home is staying awake all night in rder to accompany the dead person and his or her family.

Bertilde said...

In my country there are several ways to have a funeral since we have multicultural regions. From where I come from, people use to get togheter and accompany the family. The burial is taken place after two days.
Then, during nine nights, all the family and friends get together in order to pray for the person who dies.

cenk said...

To lose one of your family members is a bad experience.If you are out of your hometown,this is worse;but life is going on...

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