Friday, February 5, 2010

Marriage: What keeps couples together?

As part of classroom discussion on relationships and values, I sometimes ask my English students what they look for in an ideal marriage partner. Invariably, I have students that mention good looks . . . if they are willing to admit it. In part, I can see where students are coming from at they age; however, many young people who are romantically in love often don't realize that good looks only last a season, and the only thing you can really improve in life is your character and the values that will help you will stormy seas come your way.

More than 20 years ago when my wife and I were getting married, I had no idea of the blessings, the joy, and the challenges that would come uninvited to our door. I wanted to be able to say, "Hey, problems. Take a number and stand in line until I'm ready to deal with you!"

No, life isn't that kind.

So, I often tell my own children that when they are looking for someone to marry, don't marry a "project" (a person who doesn't have strong values, and that only makes temporary changes in his/her life to impress you). Instead, marry someone who will not blow away when the first problem arises or that wants to leave you for convenience sake.

People who only think of themselves will only be temporary partners.

Thus, what do you feel are the values and traits in a person that will keep people together through thick and thin---through good and bad times. Couples always say they will stay together, but what are the differences between those who stick it out and those who don't?

Share your ideas on this topic.

Randall

5 comments:

Bruno da Matta said...

Hello Randall and everyone,

I bet you had a very fruitful and heated discussion on that topic with your students.
Funny enough, I think some people are more likely to making poor and unwise decisions when it comes to being in a relationship. One of them is to quickly become involved in a serious relationship without devoting enough time to get to know the person you'll be sharing your life with.

As you said, it takes time for someone to get to know their boyfriend's/girlfriend's character/values and if s/he won't blow away when the first problem pops up along the way.

Cheers,
Bruno (BRA)

kann-u said...

Hello everyone and Randall

I want to marry a person whom I feel happy to talk with.
I don't expect the person to help me.I want to overcome difficulties by myself,not to bother the person whom I love.lol
I will beg my friends to help me.

kann-u

Saad Zaman said...

There were days when people used to have sex not before marriage,but nowadays its no big deal teenagers consider it a insult calling themselves virgin.Nowadays they are just in a hurry to get laid with any beautiful girls.Youngsters nowadays do not take marriage as a serious matter.And this is one of the main reason of downfall of a society.


People should marry on basis of character and not on the basis of beauty.I totally agree with you that beauty is for a limited time,all that stays is character.

Anonymous said...

I agree that beauty is only skin deep and it can't be the glue to stick the couple together forever. To me, what can keep couples together include love, patience, forgiveness, respect and appreciation.

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