Status of Randall's Blog

Hi everyone,

I will be opening the redesign of my site soon (esl-lab.com), and while this blog will remain open to read, I will not be posting new messages here . . . at least for now. For the most updated information, I would visit my site and it's new blog at https://www.esl-lab.com.

I have been running this blog for over 10 years, and I will continue to interact with teachers and students at my main site or through Facebook or Instagram.

Thanks for being a part of my community for so many years, and I look forward to interacting with you online at my site.

Best,

Randall

What's New - Web Site Redesign

Hi everyone,

Since the fall of 2018, I have been busy in redesigning my Web sites including dailyesl.com and trainyouraccent.com. This summer, I will be launching the new design of my main site, esl-lab.com. This has been a challenging, but rewarding adventure, and I will keep visitors updated here. Thanks for being a part of this adventure.

Randall

A New Year - 2019

Now that we have entered into the new year, I am interested in hearing what plans people have for 2019. For me personally, I hope to find meaning in every small thing I do and seek ways on helping friends, family, colleagues, and students in their challenges and new experiences.

Enjoy 2019!

Sledding in the Mountains

Winter sledding can really be a wild, exhilarating ride, as seen in this video with my son and his friend.

https://esl-lab.com/hiking/winteractivities-video.htm

Self-Worth and Finding Courage

The other day, I was visiting with one of my students who feels discouraged because the student's father is disappointed by the perceived lack of progress the student is making. "You're not stupid, right? Get to work. You're just not working hard enough."

The pain in the student's expression was emotionally raw and distressing. I simply sat and listened, validating the student's discouragement.

In such situations, I often ask myself how we develop the courage to keep going when people seem to be telling us, "YOU'RE NOT ENOUGH!" "YOU'RE BROKEN!"

One of my favorite writers and researchers on shame, vulnerability, and self-worth is Brené Brown. She said the following:

“Stop walking through the world looking for confirmation that you don’t belong. You will always find it because you’ve made that your mission. Stop scouring people’s faces for evidence that you’re not enough. You will always find it because you’ve made that your goal. True belonging and self-worth are not goods; we don’t negotiate their value with the world. The truth about who we are lives in our hearts. Our call to courage is to protect our wild heart against constant evaluation, especially our own. No one belongs here more than you.”

– Brené Brown, Braving the Wilderness

When I feel low, I just keep reminding me that myself worth is never determined by the judgement of the people sitting in the stands. I try to help students find the courage to do the same.

Any thoughts on this topic? How have you be able to press through difficult times?

Update Site - Dailyesl.com

I have almost completed the complete update to my site, https://www.dailyesl.com. Give it a try. The focus of the site is on everyday language, and each listening activity has questions and discussion tasks.

Trainyouraccent.com

Hi everyone. I am always experimenting with increasing engagement and learning on my sites. Here is a possible new quiz format and style for creating questions about the listening activities students here.

What do you think? Are these questions with immediate feedback helpful? Please let me know.

https://www.trainyouraccent.com/readings/apartment-rentals

Thanksgiving Day

Thanksgiving Day is a day is a time of gratitude. I’m thankful for:

- A good family who cares, listens, and feels;

- Good friends who remember our family in small acts of kindness;

- A very rewarding job that provides a deep well of opportunities to learn about the world;

- Daily moments of wonder and mystery that allow me to reflect on how limited my understanding is of our existence;

- Constant reminders on how I need to be more compassionate for those who struggle beyond my awareness;

- Uncertainty, which keeps me searching for new knowledge instead of just holding on to what is finite and comfortable;

- Animal companions at home who don’t hold grudges and love you no matter how hard your day has been;

- Nature and the mountains where we live, a place where I can hike, run, and soak in solitude and wonder;

- A warm home, something so many people live without in despair;

- The lessons of struggle to humble me;

- Strength to rise each morning;

- Food and clothing;

- Contentment;

- Inner peace;

- Me.

What are you thankful for?

Kindness Needed More Today

Having worked with students for over thirty years, I’ve slowly discovered the importance of the simple things that connect us all and our humanity. Perhaps the greatest thing we can do is to make a difference in someone else’s life.

I wish I could say that I learned that in the first few moments of my career, but it has been a process that has helped me view people more expensively beyond my own ethnocentric worldview.

I’m deeply grateful for the thousands of students and teachers with whom I have worked the years who have shown me kindness as well. Enjoy the video. Feel free to share your opinions on the topic.

https://youtu.be/Z-aVMdJ3Aok

Trainyouraccent.com

Hi everyone. Here's an update on one of the projects I am working on right now.

To make my sites more responsive to all devices, including mobile phones, I am slowly updating my sites, and I invite you to visit the new version of my site, www.trainyouraccent.com.

Eventually, I will do all of them, but I am starting on one of the smaller sites first. Please let me know how the site works for you.

Sushi Night

My wife, Shirley, has a real gift in the kitchen (and beyond), and she enjoys sharing her talent.

Last night, we had some family over for a “sushi night,” where people learn to prepare and put together their own rolls. Tuna, salmon, eel, and other delights. (We now hope to have other family over for Mexican night or other. Who knows.)

I think everyone left stuffed, and the good company made it even better. When I was growing up, there would have been no way I would have tried to eat a slimy piece of raw fish; I would have gagged mightily, and would have had terrible nightmares thinking about it. I would have probably preferred to eat rocks, liver, and the like before raw, uncooked, unseasoned, unprocessed, and un-you-know-sea-creatures.

If I had been on a deserted island, I would have probably starved to death while fish swam freely along the beaches. (You can only live on coconuts for so long.) That was the level of my thoughts regarding sushi years ago.

But now, you just can’t beat the taste.

What kinds of foods do you enjoy?

Presentation on Death and Grief

I’m on the train right now heading to a conference, and in about two hours, I will be speaking about how death, loss, and grief touch so many lives, including my students who live so far away from their families.

It can be a difficult topic to address, but so many people struggle and want to be understood. Our own son, Josh, died by suicide.

Being ready to sit with someone in their pain and discomfort is the mark of a true friend. I encourage all to be that friend.

Heartache is certainly not limited to death. Illness, abuse, divorce, loss of employment...the list goes on...are all traumatic events.

I will share post a copy of the presentation later this morning.

Here is a listening activity on my site that models possible conversation when someone loses a family member or friend close to them:

https://www.esl-lab.com/insurance/insurancerd1.htm

End of the Harvest

As we come to the end of the harvest season in our garden, I wake up each morning with a thankful heart that we have a home where my dad can live with us, great family and friends, and food that we can enjoy and share. So, if you live in the area and could use some vegetables, you’re welcome to visit our place. Life is filled with unexpected twists, hills, and valleys, but I relish in the exhilarating adventure, feeling fortunate for what I have.

Finding Good Answers

In my work with international students, I have been asked many questions over the years, and one of my roles as a teacher is to help them learn how to find answers to their questions, particularly when it comes to understanding people from

so many different cultures.

First of all, I try to emphasis that people who teach them HOW to think are people worth listening to because they don’t view themselves as the source of knowledge. However, people who tell or teach my students WHAT to think are probably caught up in their own wisdom and intellectual hubris, and they can’t seek the flaws in their own reasoning.

The second point is learning to ask the right questions to get the right answers. Simply asking, “So, what do American families like to do at Christmas?” is the wrong question because it first starts out with an unclear definition of who Americans are.

Brazilians are Americans; Hondurans are Americans; Mexicans are Americans. (I am also concerned when people stereotype the cultures of my own students which can lead to unfortunate and harmful labeling.)

This question about “Americans” that comes from a very ethnocentric worldview makes it impossible to answer because it isn’t based on a clear definition of what an American is.

So, on whatever topic or field of study you are in, learning how to think logically and rationally is one of the keys to a deeper understanding of the world around you.

Finding Hope

As I mentioned in earlier post, our family participated in a suicide awareness walk, to honor those who have lost loved ones and to support those who are struggling.

We had a large group of family join together to celebrate the life of our son, and also express hope to others who are struggling as well.

All too often, people feel I needed shame and the burden of the stigma associated with suicide and mental illness is something that as a society and as a world we need to work past in order to have compassion for others. If you are struggling personally, or have someone else in your life who is experiencing suicidal thoughts, I encourage you to seek out help and resources that might be available, hopefully, in your area.

That said, if you’d like to contact me directly and share your own story, I’m happy to listen.

You can find out more information on our son at this website:

Joshuascottdavis.org

Homestay Experiences

Homestay can be a rewarding experience for international visitors and students going overseas, BUT you have to find the right place with the right people. In this listening activtity, ask yourself if this is a place you would like to stay. Enjoy a few laughs:

https://esl-lab.com/homestay/homestayrd1.htm

Living Up to Expectations

As I have worked with many students and people around the world, one common emotion I often see is the desperate desire to be valued and seen for whom they really are.

At times, students comment that they are trying to live up to the expectations of family and friends who live so far away, yet these people seem so unaware of the personal struggles these students face: homesickness, the challenge of learning a language at the pace their family might expect, cultural isolation, the overwhelming fear if they aren't able to progress fast enough to get into a university program.

As a result, these students may question their self-worth, as if that depended upon someone else to give that to them. (Seeking external approval and validation is a common response when you feel your self-worth hinges on the judgements of others.)

Some students deeply struggle in learning a language despite the fact that they spend countless hours studying, while others seem naturally wired to learn without effort. The fear that their parents will erroneously assume that they are lazy or not being serious can consume their thoughts and add to the unneeded burden of feeling that they aren’t enough.

My hope is that as teachers, friends, fellow students, and neighbors, we learn to understand these fears. Never dismiss them. A true friend is one that sits with you in your discomfort and listens, without the need or inclination to give you advice. People just want to be heard, and from that small act of listening, greater courage and self-compassion and self-worth can blossom, grow, and thrive.

Being Real

All too often, and because of the fear of appearing inadequate, we run around pretending to be someone we were never meant to be. Embracing our true selves can be the key to greater inner peace.

In this conversation on my site, we see a classic example of this in which I play the role of a guy who is afraid to be authentic and hides behind an image of what he wants to be.

Enjoy. I think the guy eventually figures this out:

https://www.esl-lab.com/healthclub/healthclubrd1.htm

Personal Growth

“The mind, once stretched by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.” - Oliver Wendell Homes

Coming home on the train after a good day with new students from across the globe. They are eager to learn and expand their understanding of the world as they learn English. They come from so many interesting places: Japan, Brazil, Saudi Arabia, Mongolia, the Ukraine, Mexico, Canada, Chad, and the list goes on.

Once they begin to discover so much more about the cultures around them, they see this new knowledge as the gateway to a more expansive worldview and deeper human connections.

At the moment when we assume that we have the world figured out, the potential for growth wanes and fossilizes. Elasticity of thought dissipates.

However, every time I walk into the classroom, I try to be humble enough to see that I could on the verge of new discoveries.

I relish in that feeling.

The Danger of Stereotyping

“The eye sees only what the mind is prepared to comprehend.”

- Robertson Davies, author

As human beings, we tend to think that we are rational creatures who see the world the way it really is, but what we don’t realize is that we often unconsciously seek out information that tends to confirm our current views, and we often dismiss information that disconfirms our long-held perspectives.

This is true of so many facets of our lives, and we often are unaware of the fact that we do this. We convince ourselves that we give all information a fair and equal treatment, but we generally don’t because analyzing information takes more cognitive work, and the fear of being wrong and of having to set aside past views can at times be paralyzing. You would think it would be liberating to learn more, but our current perspectives may have been so much a part of our identify that letting go can be deeply uncomfortable.

As a result, we tend to see only what our mind is prepared to see.

Where I see this play out in my work is the fact that students often hold certain stereotypes about people from other cultures, and unfortunately at times, don’t seek out new information to debunk views that aren’t accurate.

As a result, students sometimes feel uncomfortable, disappointed, or hurt when other people claim this or that about their country that only misrepresents its people. Broad sweeping statements like, “Yeah, I know that people in your country ________.” You can fill in the blank. I’ve even seen students deeply hurt over characterizations that aren’t true.

And rather than limiting my comment to just international students, this thinking error plagues all of us—-teachers, organizations—-and people like Randall.

All this said, I have also seen relationships built when people come together because they were ready to listen and learn with open minds and hearts.

So the next time you are absolutely, 249% sure that your view represents reality, stop and ask yourself if you have analyzed all relevant information before arriving at your ironclad conclusion. Chances are you haven’t.

Have you ever seen such examples in your own life? Feel free to share.