Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Raising Children: What's the secret?

Raising healthy and emotionally-sound children isn't as easy as you might think, and most young couples have really no idea of what they are getting into when they first get married. In fact, while babies and young children require time, older children in their teenage years and even into adulthood need just as much, and sometimes more, time and understanding.

Therefore, what do you think are the keys to raising children in our day and age? What did your parents do to raise you that worked or didn't work? Share your ideas. You can also listen of an activity on my Website on this topic at:

http://www.esl-lab.com/children/childrenrd1.htm



Randall

16 comments:

  1. Raising children is very hard for parents and raising them successfully is more difficult.

    Taking care for babies needs the time, the love and the effort. Of course, raising them requires us some skills and experiences. The books and old poeple like our grand parents can help us to become better parents.

    Otherwise, there is a completely difference in feeding the older children as compared with babies. For older children, it is so necessary to catch up their psychology. They are growing up, so they want us not only to be their parents but also as their friends to share with them and give apropriate advices to them.

    Unfortunately, my parents could not be beside me frequently to share with me at the time I had some troubles. However, I remember that when I was wrong my parents purnished me strictly by cane. I think that worked well to me because I did not dare to make mistakes any more.

    However, everything is changing now. It is better to raise our children by the understanding, the passion and of course, by the love of parents. That is more efficient in bringing up successfully children.

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  2. Raising children today can be very hard for parents. To deal well with this situation is necessary a lot of compassion and love to do the best.

    Firstly, our world nowadays is so dangerous that raise a child is becoming more difficult to parents because they lived in another time when so many precautions that child has today were not necessary for them at this time.

    In addition, today many parents work all day long and do not have time to know better their children and thus do not participate to their lives. For me this situation is very bad and can damage the process of education of this child.

    To illustrate, in my chilhood my parents were always with me. My mom worked in my school and she participated of my life during this time helping me to study and giving a lot of attention.

    To sum up, I think there is no secret to raise children today. So, the principal thing to do is always have attention and give them support to be healthy and happy.

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  3. Raising children could be easier if we parents had more communication with our kids. Today is cellphone, internet, TV and many others stuffs, so present in many homes that everyone, kids and parents, are very stressed to get information from these lines and/or to be social online, istead to a create a real family enviroment. I think we adults must work hard to change this trend just now, so our kids can be better parents to our grandchildren and so on. The most (not everyone) of antagonistic, unsociable and violent people hadn't a good relation to their parents. So lets us do the world safer and more pleasant for all!

    Claudete Sundin - Stockholm

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  4. Love is the way. It could sound as the usual answer..But,sooner or later, the dark side of everybody appears. Suddenly, we lose the control and love -patience and understanding- can solve the situation. If not..Kisses

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  5. I think that all times game is the principal factor to work with children. In the game you can listen and accompained children. Share time in different spare activities make that children feel confident and with the sensation of be no alone.

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  6. In my case my parents were divorced when I was born, but that was not a difficulty they did their best to raise me and my little brother, even whit them living in separate houses we both had the best childhood we could imagine.

    They have some rules and parental control but it was so nice growing up with them as our parents. Even with them divorced it was a very typical way to raised kids, they remain friends after the divorce so they did their bestto raised us.

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  7. for me i think my parents were very success in raising us .that true becuase the methode they used was alibral and democratic one i donnot rember one day they had beaten us me or my brothers they just said to us not to do the thing again .They were good in gave us the basic terminolgy of religion and they didnot persuded us but they always gave us the choice to paractice our religion

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  8. For me my parents were very democratic in the process of raising us .Rarely do i remember they had beating us they always spoke with us nicely when we did something wrong .

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  9. The way I was raised in my family was a little particular. My parents divorced when I was 10 years old. After that, I leaved with my father only 2 weekends a month and half the hollidays. My mother was quiet strict, but my father a lot less. In one hand, I was happy to be able to do what I wanted but in another hand, I would have prefered that he said no sometimes. I don't think it's good for children to always get what they want. Because of that, I learned that it was easy to get things. I just had to ask for them. Now, I sometimes find it upsetting to not get what I want when I want it. I think I will teach my children to appreciate what they have, not only about the monetary value of things but to appreciate them for what they are.
    In my opinion, a child without boundaries is a child that will not turn well in the futur. It can be difficult to accept limits as a grown up when we never had them as children.
    I don't think that children are harder to raise today than they were in the past. Time has changed but if a child is well raised from the beginning, I think it will compensate the bad influence that peers can have. The relationship between parents and children should be based on trust and boundaries that must not be crossed. If they are, children must be punished in a fair way. That means that parents have to explain children th reason why they are punished and set a fair and constructive punishment.

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  10. In my opinion most of the parents are not doing a great job the just because of the current penalties and limitations due to the laws. I grew up in Puerto Rico by my years of childhood if you do something wrong everyone around your neighbor get involve and watch what you do. Now in this days the people don't care that much about others individuals and pretend that they don't see if something is wrong because they fear about the consequences. I remember if I use a bad word or been mean to my teacher when I get home my mom make sure that I don't do it again she spanks me and take everything; I remember her saying:" that everything you have is a privilege " so I must have good grades and help in the house to could play. Even in the school we must respect our teachers if not they spank you too and let it know to your parent so when you get home you have a second round.

    Everything to day is harder for the parents because if you are the one that give more the children love you more is not about respect to others is about how much you give is how much you receive. Time has changed, raising children's today is very hard.

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  11. Becoming mother or father is a fact that nobody can deny that changes your life forever. Of course we can be strongly afraid of no having the credentials to carry out this tricky task. Sometimes families feel ambivalent about if they are rearing their children following appropriate patterns. Am I being too restrictive? Am I giving too much latitude?
    As far as I am concerned, communication is key when we deal with our sons and daughters, even more when they are teenagers. Sharing experiences with your kids is an easy way to create family ties. On the other hand, developing a sense of responsability is of paramount importance if we want our children to be able to manage their own life. Moreover, providing freedom is also central, and it allows children to grow up in a healthy way. It does not mean that we must let them do whatever they want whenever they desire. It is refered to offer them suitable tools and skills in order to make right decisions.
    From my parents I would like to underline that they have taught me the value of effort and responsability.
    All in all, motherhood and fatherhood may make you feel depressed when nothing seems to be going right. Nevertheless, you always have to move on and cope with this problems. Just remember that communication is key to preserve harmony into a family.

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  12. My mother was very serious and had a lot of rules ,I thought some of them were terrible .But when I got older ,I understood they were necessary .On the other hand my dad was very kind and easy going .Both of them were very kind and encourage us to do our best and become a useful person in society

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  13. I was raised by two loving parents, but that didn´t mean they were permissive. Growing up in a Latin environment is fun, specially when you are the kid, my mom and dad, had house rules, and we were well behaved, but we often played fights, and some other ¨dangerous¨games, but we always received discipline accompanied with love and direction, they always explained the why and how, they had to spank or punish us, sometimes, or most of the time we didn´t understand, but once we grew up we were able to understand. It´s today, that I have a better understanding of the challenge it is to be a parent, although I don´t have kids, yet, but it definitely is a challenge. I believe we are leaving a different times, parents are not as firm and loving, and kids do what they want, and not what´s better for them.

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  14. Being a parent is the greatest thing you will ever have. Raising children is very challenging but rewarding. I was raised by my parents in an environment with different type of people so we were expose to different type of character and attitude but my parents never miss teaching us what is right though sometimes they were unable to give some of our needs. Our Dad is kind of a strict man, he can stop us just by doing a "tiger look". And our Mom is very emotional, she is opposite to our Dad, she is soft and loving. For me the secret to success in raising children is Love and Persistence, continue loving your children and being persistent in counselling with them and Success and happiness will follow.

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  15. In my opinion the key to raise children today is to combine both freedom and communication. It takes time to understand the kids, but also it takes time to the kids understand their parents, once in a while some time alone with them, traveling for example, it is a good idea to create this bound, I was raised like this and at least in my point of view this pretty much worked. I just cannot agree with the vision of "strict parents" and things like that, the world is already too strict with the kids, the parents do not need to teach them a lesson being like this too.

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  16. I've come from a broken family, my father left us when I was a baby. Growing up, I am too confused of what's happening because I've seen almost all people around me have fathers with them. With the absence of a father, I almost messed up my life. So for me it is important to be a responsible person. I might call people who destroyed families irresponsible. When raising kids, teamwork with fathers and mothers should be develop. Learn from every mistakes you both did and more than willing to correct mistakes.

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Thanks for posting a comment. I appreciate your interesting in sharing your ideas.

Best,

Randall

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